Searching for BLISS in a terrain of sadness

'O spring in the desert, O shelter from the heat, O light in the darkness, O guide for the feet, O joy for our sadness, O support for the weak, O Lord with us always, your presence we seek.'

John the Baptist calls himself ‘A voice crying out in the wilderness’ which might be a reference to difficult geographical terrain OR could reference crying "out" to those around who weren't listening. 

Yes God.  Today I need your help with healing a great sadness in my heart.  How do I feel this, but not be consumed by it?  How do process it in a healthy way through YOU and not the people in my life?  How do I release it?  How do I actually “let it go” and trust and believe in the unseen and the unknown, in the promises you’ve made?  How do I apply YOUR truth to me, and to those who have “caused” this great sadness?   

You see for 43 years, which is a very long time!  I mean not long for you because you’re like ‘eternity’ old, but for me, it’s as long as I’ve been aware of myself. For the entirety of THAT time, the view I’ve had of myself and the role of other people in my life…the role of relationships has been….well…wrong.  It’s been unhealthy and has led to brokenness and pain.  It simply hasn’t worked.  Failed expectations.  I think that the people in my life have a responsibility to me-to be kind to me, to understand my hurts and pain, to know where and when I need support.  To heal me, to love me.  You say, “yes” your people are instructed to live in ways that are righteous with each other, but you point out repeatedly that because we are flawed and broken that it is IMPOSSIBLE for us to do any of that to perfection. That in fact, YOU God are the only one who can redeem my brokenness, my sadness, meet my needs and restore my life. Only you. Nobody else.  Not one other person on this Earth can do that job.

Lord show me how to not lose sight of that.  How do I live day by day “not” putting expectations on the people in my life that don’t rightfully belong to them and/or that are flat out incapable of doing a job they were never created to do?  Do I expect a car to be a fish?  Or a house to be a lake?  No.  Why then do I expect your creation to be my source of love and healing when they were never created to be that. 

Help me Lord with my wrong thinking.  Search my heart God and redirect the thoughts and feelings it produces to their rightful place, at your feet.  Help me find my rest in you.  Help me know how to receive your peace, your love, your provision. 

You send us out as sheep among wolves because you are the Lion running alongside us.  Help me remember that, always. Help me stay rooted in that.  You are good.  You are good.  You are good. 

I am your beloved.  I am your favorite daughter.  And you Lord, you are my Father, YOU are my King.  YOU are my redeemer, my restorer, the source and fulfillment of my love.

You look down on my broken heart and you regard it.  You mourn with me, you grieve on my behalf and you wait patiently to allow me to let you heal me.

Thank you Lord Jesus.  You are my everything. #blissedandblessed #forever