Thanksgiving discovered.

This time of year, it is quite natural for us to say and hear multitudes of gratitude laced sentiments.  Lists of things, people, experiences, miracles, circumstances, relationships, opportunities that we’re all so very grateful for.  This Thanksgiving season and particularly on the 4^th Thursday of November, Facebook is filled with them.  Dinner tables everywhere make time for sharing them.  Strangers seem more generous with smiles.  There is a palpable warmth in the chilly Autumn air. 

This of course, is good.  But it got me wondering.  What is gratitude, really?  Beyond a momentary sentiment that we surely feel deep in our bones.  Beyond a seasonal fleeting day where we gather and stuff our “hungry” (glutenous) faces with Grammy’s famous cranberry sauce.  Beyond the natural excitement in our hearts that the the holidays are now just around the corner.  Surely this feeling- this sentiment that fuels heartfelt energy to keep family traditions alive, that keeps our nation shutting down for a day to commemorate it-this feeling of gratitude, “Thanksgiving” must intimate something much more than a momentary feeling of self-focused gratefulness.  What I thought, was the original intent?  Further, have we done well by this tradition, or have we missed the mark of its intent?

As I thought on this, I decided to research the origins of the actual Thanksgiving holiday.   

I reached deep into my memories of my Kindergarten Pilgrim costumes (I always chose to dress up as the Pilgrim because it was easier to make-but the Indian costumes were always way better-colorful and fun), and took my questions to google.  

I was surprised to discover the ORIGINAL Pilgrim concept of Thanksgiving had nothing to do with the feasts that we focus our attentions to now.  Rather, the tradition of expressing thanks to the Lord are recorded as a full day of prayer and FASTING (huh?) to show gratitude for the mercies and provisions given to a struggling colony.   That’s right-FASTING.  Like, the opposite of feasting.  Now-I’m in no way suggesting we revert to this.  I personally have a huge bowl of mashed potatoes waiting on me tomorrow-I can hear them calling to me already.  But it is an interesting twist.  The biblical intention for the act of fasting is essentially giving up food (or something else) for a period of time in order to focus your thoughts on God. While fasting, many people read the Bible, pray, or worship. Fasting is found throughout the Old and New Testaments of the Bible, over fifty times!  The outcome of course, it to develop a disciplined attitude of submission and ultimately, GRATITUDE. 

But-the bible also uses beautiful descriptions and lots of examples of bountiful feasts to celebrate both special moments and of course our gratitude.  And, as my god-daughter Noelle always reminded us with her sweet little smile “It’s never a party without a cake”.  So, the natural course of our nation’s history is easy to understand-the celebration of Thanksgiving is followed by FEASTS! 

Since childhood we’ve all been taught the story of the first time Pilgrims and Indians came together over a harvest feast. The fact that we’ve added our Disney feel good ending to much of their story seems irrelevant at this point.  It would be some 100 plus years after the original celebrations (both in prayer and in feast) before the first state proclaimed a day of thanks, and yet another 100 for the government to follow suit (Thanks Abe Lincoln!).  Of course, we wouldn’t be a country if we didn’t experience presidential power plays in the years to come over what date should be “THE” date and whether or not the government even had the right to proclaim such a holiday…blah blah (some things never change) …and poof here we are!  We get the 4^th Thursday of every November to, as Abraham Lincoln put it, "render thanks to our Heavenly Father for these inestimable blessings".

The point is that people-friends, communities and unlikely companions set aside everything else in life to organize feasts with the expressed intent to celebrate, in gratitude, bountiful harvests and safe passage into another year.   

This of course, is good.  But again…the question remained-besides a day of thanks, there must be something more?  But in a culture where we all get to have “our truth” and nobody gets to tell anyone what they should believe or what they should do” …what can we UNIFY around as the call to action as a result of this national day of thanks?  What is our cultural North Star as a result of this day of thanks?  What is the universal answer to “We have this, now we should go go and do this” question around the purpose of Thanksgiving? 

And then it hit me-Like decoding a secret in a famous Dan Brown novel, the answer lies not just in the history, not just in the feeling, but it quite obviously lies in the very word itself.  ThanksGIVING.    

Can we not agree, regardless of spiritual or cultural differences, that the PURPOSE of this day is to allow oneself to reflect and celebrate being so profoundly grateful that it creates and propels forward an attitude of GIVING.  Period.  Stop there just for a minute.  The grateful “for what” and giving “how and to whom” of course are different for each of us, but the feeling and the purpose of that feeling are SHARED by us all.  Or at least that is the idea behind all of this.  Isn’t it?

You see in the end, I realized, for this to work, we CANNOT stop at “being thankful”.  That’s only half the story.  We must ALLOW this feeling, this belief, this sentiment that we experience to our bones propel us outward, outside of ourselves to EXPRESS that gratitude in an attitude and action of giving to others. Generously. 

Some may feel led to give well beyond what makes them comfortable:  of their time, resources and treasures.  For others, God may simply lead you to give kindness, comfort and a warm smile to one who desperately needs it: a friend, family, strangers…or even to a foe.  Regardless of who, how and how much....the point is to GIVE.

I pray this year for an open mind and a willing heart.  To be keenly aware of opportunities to take the gratitude I feel for so much, submit it and generously give it outward to the people the Good Lord puts in front of me. 

Happy Thanksgiving my friends.  May your potatoes be buttery, and your turkey be juicy.  You are all so valuable.  You are all so worthy.

Darcy

grat·i·tude

/ˈɡradəˌt(y)o͞od/Submit

noun

the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

Wear your faith!

If you follow my boutique then lately you’ve seen me share more of what I call my “Wear your faith” collection.  I felt it important to clarify “why”.

To some, it may simply seem that I own a boutique. I sell women’s clothing and accessories.

Sure, that’s true.  But the context of “why” runs much deeper.  I won’t bore you with the details of the struggles of my life.  It would be dishonest of me to say “I’m grateful for them all”.  I have definitely learned through them all, but they’ve also each taken a bit of a toll in different ways.  Finding myself in early menopause and soon facing an empty nest situation, some of the big questions of life started to resurface for me.

There is much in my life I am proud of and humbly grateful for:  My children, my husband, my family, my friends, my faith, my career.  The list is quite long.  So why was I struggling so much to find acceptance in who I was?  In who I am?

I think the truth is that we live in a society filled with images of fantasy and perfection.  Materialism and vanity and air-brushed images of bodies, of life.  But that wasn’t me.  I didn’t fit into that.  My body was aging.  I no longer looked or even felt my youthful vibrance.  I hadn’t “made it” as far as I thought I would in my career at this point.  I wondered...does that mean it’s “over”?  Is it “too late” for anything great?

The answer to that question can be found by reading below, and also by watching “Under the Tuscan Sun”-one of my all time favorite movies.  A-hem, I digress.  NO! No, It was not over.  Far from it!  I looked around and saw many other women just like me.  Women I admired.  Women who had “been through it” in life-and were more beautiful, stronger, wiser, better now than they EVER were before.  And THAT is the woman I want to celebrate.  THAT is the image I want to promote.  THAT is the culture I want to breed.  THAT is the example I want to set.  That is why I want to wear MY faith and encourage others to wear theirs!

So my boutique caters to these women.  Women who understand this concept....well,  I call them my “Blissed Out Babes”.

WHO is a Blissed Out Babe?

A Blissed Out Babe is a women with EXPERIENCE in the ways of life.  One who doesn’t give up, at least not for long, striving  everyday to become more of who she was made to be.  She knows life is a journey to be experienced, not a race to be won.  Every line on her face has a story to tell, a lesson to be learned.  She is magnificently BEAUTIFUL.

She’s loved lavishly.  She’s mourned grievously.
She’s won big.  She’s lost huge.
She’s given the best of her heart and her mind.  Some have given back, many have only taken.
She’s known the peace of having plenty.  She’s known the hardship of not having enough.
She’s searched far and wide for meaning and value.  She’s found it at times.  She’s felt lost many times.
She’s had BEST friends.  She’s dealt with enemies.
She’s had children.  She’s lost children.
She’s had great loves.  She’s lost great loves.
She’s forgiven.  She’s been forgiven.
She’s decided at times NOT to forgive. She’s experienced not being forgiven.
She’s been a warrior and victor.  She’s been defeated and lost her sense of purpose and drive.
She’s beautiful, but she’s felt ugly.
She’s tall.  She’s short.
She’s skinny.  She’s fluffy.
She’s satisfied.  She’s dissatisfied.
She’s loud.  She’s quiet.
She’s funny.  She’s smart.
She’s graceful. She’s fierce.
She’s youthful.  She’s aging.
She feels happy.  She’s depressed.
She is peaceful.  She’s anxious.
She speaks with the breath of God.  She shouts her emotions.

She is a daughter of God. Her value is worth more than rubies. She is magnificent. She is loved. She is you.

#joinus #blissedandblessed #sharethelove #bewhoyouare #celebratewomen

Airport tight-rope walking

This girl I know.  She’s staring at the tight-wire, 20 stories up.  He whispers “Do you trust me”?  To trust Him means she takes the scariest step she’s ever taken.  One to which every rational thought in her brain screams “No!”  But she’s standing there….with a choice to make.  Taking that step means holding onto NOTHING but the invisible force in front of her calling her forward.  Or…she stays put.  Stays put, turns around and walks back to the same old place. The comfortable place.  The safe place. The sad place if she’s being honest with herself.   After all, that’s why she’s standing in front of the tight-wire anyway….she walked toward it in pursuit of something greater, something wilder, something less safe.

Have you been there?  I mean really been there?

She wonders if she’s alone in this struggle, this significant decision. Not the “Bacon burger  vs. the Vegan bean burger” decision.  Rather the monumental choice to make the leap. The scary choice with the uncertain outcome.

She sits in the airport after another day of fulfilling her corporate duty.  The one she’d been groomed to do for decades.  The path that promised security and safety. Or did it?   I mean deep down she knew that she was no more secure than the last 20 poor schmucks that were escorted into an early retirement.  But she’s there…because it’s it feels 100O X safer than anything “out there”.  Another girl sits next to her.  She’s in an abusive relationship, hiding her scars and her reality from the world.  Deep down she knows she’s no less at risk than the last 20 poor women who lost their very lives to fury and rage at the hand of their betrothed. But she’s there….because it feels 1000 X more familiar than anything “out there”.  Beside her sits yet a girl waiting to fly back to her dorm room.  She’s paralyzed by her anxiety, hiding from her family and her world around her, the one nobody understands.  Deep down she knows she’s no less safe from losing her battle to the bottle of pills that dull her pain.  But she stays there with them because she feels 1000 X more a sense of belonging than anything or anyone “out there”.

But…her heart.  She yearns for something wilder, something free.  An unpaved path, untouched wilderness.  Where anything she creates is her-her gift, her mark. Her legacy.  Her.  She’s defined herself  as the opposite for so long:  Someone confined by rule following and people pleasing. The one who tows the expected line, even when she knows there is a better way. Someone who doesn’t ruffle feathers.  Someone who everyone can depend on, who carries the weight and smiles through her tears.  Trapped in a functional body while her sanguine creativity, the beauty of her very essence, withers.

She sits, in another airport, looking for ways to pass another hour.  Then it came-that unexpected and poignant message from God through one of His messengers who has no idea she is even being used by “Him”.  That girl, the messenger, probably just thinks it’s just a random circumstance that placed her in front of this long lost friend, so she’s says the first thing that’s on her mind.  Little does she know that she’s actually one of many that God has used to nurture His leading in this girl’s life….the leading to a new place, a different place, a place that makes no material promise, but rather a promise of adventure and provisional security in the unseen and unknown.  In Him.  The message-it was just so…on point.  Standing there in the airport, she recognized instantly it was in fact part of  “the call”…not from her friend, but from “Him”.  She loves the feeling His call produces.  It’s better than every call of every lover she’s ever had combined.  HIS call, is the most attractive, the most exciting yet the most mysterious and the most alluring.

She’s heard His call before.  Sometimes loud-sometimes not. She hears it most notably when she allows herself time and space to hear anything other than the distracting sounds of the world spinning around her.  To hear His soft, peaceful, beautiful voice requires her to slow down.  Turn off the TV.  Stop finding “things to do” or even just “things to obsess about”.  Stop stalking friends and foes on facebook.  Just stop, and hear His still small voice.

Today, she realizes that the God she serves is big enough to shout through her distractions.  Today, He did that in the form of yet another lovely lady that He had strategically placed in her life so long ago.  She read her message, like so many others….out of the blue encouragement and praise for this simple thing He’s been leading her to do….and that one liner that always gets her “Girl, you were made for this”.

Have you been this girl? Are you this girl right now?  Are you afraid to take terrifying steps before you that carry absolutely no promise of any specific outcome?  What is on the other side of the tightrope you are on?

I pray today for courage for myself and for YOU to continue taking  scary steps.  I don’t know about you, but I spend way too much time being fearful and anxious.  I fear loss and failure-and for good reason!  But to all our fears of loss, God says-what about the gain?  What about trusting in Him?  What about realizing that all of this is passing by anyway…the only things of “forever” are that which is rooted in His promises.

So what about following His leading no matter how crazy it feels, no matter how scary it seems.  What about taking that step on that tight rope and feeling the exhilaration of trusting in nothing more than the invisible force in front of you?  What if you took that step, and then took one more.  What if you stood in the middle of the tight rope, 20 stories up, even in an earthquake, yet didn’t fall?  What if?

For those of you that follow Jesus, you’ll know what I mean by the following:  You know how out of ALL the promises and prophecies of Scripture, that they’ll be that one, or two, or a few that out of all of the, seem to be the constant in our walks?  What if there is intention behind those promises that is directed at each of us as individuals because that is the very promise that God knows WE need to learn and apply more than any of his other magnificent promises.  What if those specific promises are rooted in our promised inheritance in Him.

What are God’s promises to you? What is the inheritance He desires for you to believe and accept here on Earth as we await for what is yet to come?

Here is mine: He brings it to me from Phillipians 4:6 “Darcy, rejoice in Me, always, REJOICE!  Let your gentle spirit be known to all for I am near. Be anxious for NOTHING but in everything in prayer and thanksgiving let your request be made known to Me, and My peace that transcends all understanding will guard your heart and your mind.”

I encourage you dear sisters, dear friends to listen to what YOUR call is.  Wherever you are on your journey, wherever you are at in this life: Early stage, mid stage, late stage…hell who among us even knows “what” our stage is…tomorrow could be our finale.  Take your step, make your leap. You’re not alone.  #onEarthasitisinHeaven #Godprovides #youarea....

Xoxo,
Darcy

Searching for BLISS in a terrain of sadness

'O spring in the desert, O shelter from the heat, O light in the darkness, O guide for the feet, O joy for our sadness, O support for the weak, O Lord with us always, your presence we seek.'

John the Baptist calls himself ‘A voice crying out in the wilderness’ which might be a reference to difficult geographical terrain OR could reference crying "out" to those around who weren't listening. 

Yes God.  Today I need your help with healing a great sadness in my heart.  How do I feel this, but not be consumed by it?  How do process it in a healthy way through YOU and not the people in my life?  How do I release it?  How do I actually “let it go” and trust and believe in the unseen and the unknown, in the promises you’ve made?  How do I apply YOUR truth to me, and to those who have “caused” this great sadness?   

You see for 43 years, which is a very long time!  I mean not long for you because you’re like ‘eternity’ old, but for me, it’s as long as I’ve been aware of myself. For the entirety of THAT time, the view I’ve had of myself and the role of other people in my life…the role of relationships has been….well…wrong.  It’s been unhealthy and has led to brokenness and pain.  It simply hasn’t worked.  Failed expectations.  I think that the people in my life have a responsibility to me-to be kind to me, to understand my hurts and pain, to know where and when I need support.  To heal me, to love me.  You say, “yes” your people are instructed to live in ways that are righteous with each other, but you point out repeatedly that because we are flawed and broken that it is IMPOSSIBLE for us to do any of that to perfection. That in fact, YOU God are the only one who can redeem my brokenness, my sadness, meet my needs and restore my life. Only you. Nobody else.  Not one other person on this Earth can do that job.

Lord show me how to not lose sight of that.  How do I live day by day “not” putting expectations on the people in my life that don’t rightfully belong to them and/or that are flat out incapable of doing a job they were never created to do?  Do I expect a car to be a fish?  Or a house to be a lake?  No.  Why then do I expect your creation to be my source of love and healing when they were never created to be that. 

Help me Lord with my wrong thinking.  Search my heart God and redirect the thoughts and feelings it produces to their rightful place, at your feet.  Help me find my rest in you.  Help me know how to receive your peace, your love, your provision. 

You send us out as sheep among wolves because you are the Lion running alongside us.  Help me remember that, always. Help me stay rooted in that.  You are good.  You are good.  You are good. 

I am your beloved.  I am your favorite daughter.  And you Lord, you are my Father, YOU are my King.  YOU are my redeemer, my restorer, the source and fulfillment of my love.

You look down on my broken heart and you regard it.  You mourn with me, you grieve on my behalf and you wait patiently to allow me to let you heal me.

Thank you Lord Jesus.  You are my everything. #blissedandblessed #forever 

Is your beauty being held hostage by the “If only’s”?

You know that gang, the "if only's"…. their mantra is all too familiar.  If only I was thinner, If only I could fit into those jeans again, if only I had a personal chef, if only I was taller, if only my boobs were bigger, if only my boobs were smaller, if only my chin wasn’t sagging, if only I hadn’t stopped exercising, if only I wasn’t menopausal…then, fill in the blank with some answer that sounds amazing.  I would be happy, I would be pretty, I would be confident, I would be content, I would be attractive, I would be fulfilled and successful. 

This gang…they’re sly, controlling and FULL-OF-CRAP!  They make us believe that in order for our beauty, the very essence that makes us special, for that to be "good" that it is dependent on some constantly changing target of physical perfection.  The thing is though, these elusive criminals are constantly moving that target so that no matter where we are on our journey, we never seem to find acceptance or contentment.  They catch us at a young age, bombard us with false thoughts about what makes someone beautiful or desirable.  They dig their claws into our psyche deeper and deeper as we age. We don’t even realize we are ensnared in a trap, until we wake up one day and realize we’re embarrassed to go clothes shopping, we’re embarrassed to go to the beach with our family, we're mortified at the thought of a class reunion. We’re covering up from our partners, we’re avoiding social events and we’re putting ourselves down more than we’re speaking positively over ourselves, even in front of our children.  Interestingly, even though this gang and their propaganda is fundamentally false, their influence over us as women seems to grow exponentially with each passing year of our life. 

Ladies I get it.  It’s hard out there to live in a world that worships images of beauty that are anything but organic or real.  It’s challenging not to compare ourselves against, well, everyone else, or worse-our younger selves.  We compare our waist size, butt size, breast size….heck I even compare my foot size now that those once tiny little protrusions on the outside of my big toes have started to expand. I mean forget the face lift I'm convinced I need, now I'm worried about shaving down the bones in my feet!  (It’s my daily elevator ride to the 4th floor at work where I notice everyone’s feet…and then I look at mine and all I see is that my feet are noticeably wider than the average bear).  Sigh.  It takes incredible focus and prayerful intention to avoid falling into the comparison trap. 

But that’s just it…IT’S A TRAP!  And it’s hard as hell to get free from. 

The truth is ladies….WE HAVE TO FIGHT from falling into it in the first place.  If not for ourselves, for the younger women coming up behind us.  They need us in ways they don’t even know yet…to pave the way of self-acceptance and self-love that goes AGAINST the grain of this world.  We were designed for greatness, to do great things, to love in great ways, to change this world for the better. We MUST destroy the traps that seek to hold us back. Fill those pot holes with truth, expose the “if only’s” for who and what they really are...liars.  Set ourselves and those younger deserving beautiful women up for a blissful journey in this life, SO THAT we can move confidently forward and be the amazing women we were created to be.

And we need each other to do it. Ladies, HERD-UP!!!

We are fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who adores us.   In fact, He loves us SO MUCH that he chose to die so that we may live.  And he loves us…AS.WE.ARE.  Just as we look at our children and see through our loving eyes toward them only that which is perfect, so does our God see us.  So do our children see us.  So do our friends, family and partners see us. 

Why? Because that is EXACTLY the way love sees.  Love dives right through outward imperfections (defined only by our society as imperfect) and sees the purity and awesomeness of the heart and soul. 

We have to root ourselves in this truth.  Marinate our thoughts in it daily.  We are BEAUTIFUL! Thick, thin, tall, short, dark, light...there is real-life breathtaking beauty in every one of us.  There is love and story in every curve, scar and wrinkle.  May we learn to treasure these and celebrate them with reckless abandon.

This is not a commentary on physical health. We should never stop pursuing a healthy self…ever.  I’m only proposing that as we travel through our journey of life, wherever we are on our physical journeys that we cannot be held hostage in a prison of discontentment that requires some moving target of physical perfection in order to be happy, satisfied, confident, content.   Because it’s NOT TRUE.  Like, not at all true.  Not even a little bit true. 

Our beauty is transcendent, it comes from within and impacts the people around us in the most profound ways. We exude it from our souls...through our smiles, through our hugs, through our words, through our actions.  Don’t believe me?  See Psalms 139.  Don't believe God?  See what 19 of our male counterparts have to say on the topic here. 

So ladies, steam roll right over the “if only’s”…expose those clowns for what they are….NOTHING!  This world NEEDS YOU, it needs ALL OF YOU, ALL IN this game, ALL IN your life. Let your beauty out…and as you’re letting yours out, don’t forget to remind those ladies around you that they are beautiful too.  We’re in this together...Just remember…

Your friend,

Darcy 

There's no crying in retail...NOT!

Here I was, my big moment.  My first retail show!  I had an important mission: to buy up a majority of my initial inventory for my soon to open Boutique.  This dream of mine that I had waited so long to chase after.  This was a critically important step that I had been carefully planning for months.  I was stoked.  I was prepared; I had my buying pass, budget, concept book, business plan, business cards, order stickers.  I downloaded the trade show apps and even scheduled buying tours, meetings and seminars.  I was READY.

Or so I thought.

I walked in, took one look around at the ginormity of the show floor and promptly forgot everything.  Cue the tears.  I could recall exactly NOTHING of what I had planned so carefully for.  I couldn't remember what I was supposed to say, how I was supposed to interact with vendors...the “etiquette” rules and best practices.  They went right out of my head and all I could feel was panic.  What in the heck was I doing here?  I don’t belong!  They’ll see right through me, I’m too new.  And also, where in the world do I even start?  There are literally hundreds of mini clothing stores covering aisles and aisles and aisles of this huge expo center…and this was just the first of several shows, and the first of 3, count them, THREE expo centers.

The freight train started coming in my ears…if you’ve ever had a panic attack you know exactly what I’m talking about.  That sound….the racing heart, the shortness of breath, the emotional waterfall behind your eyes….all of that was coming and I hadn’t even made it passed the check in.  So I called the hubster….he answers with his normal jolly tone "Honey!  How's it going?!?!"  Me, as though I'm secret service looking down and covering my mouth so nobody can see responds with "Right, well I need you to talk me down, I’m on the verge of an epic meltdown which I can't help but think is not a great look as a first impression in front of all these people and their fine products.  It's ridiculous to be emotional at a freaking buying show-yet-mommy.is.losing.it."  So, hubs ever the dependable one, worked his soothing magic from 2000 miles away.  He spoke truths and affirmations to me as I walked the aisles with my head down until the freight train left.  I’m so thankful for that big Guamanian man of mine.   Sometimes we just need our peeps to speak truth to us and bring us back to center when our feelings are taking us to crazy town.

I wish I could say that was the only time that happened, but it wasn’t.  It happened again the first day of the next show I attended, a market even bigger than the first.   Thankfully in that moment my girl Karly was there in person to feed me wine and make me laugh with funny stories of her life.  She really does have the best stories.   And you know what?  I got through it!  And it was amazing.  I got through it NOT on my own of course.  As the late great John Lennon and his pal Paul McCartney so eloquently wrote 50 years ago…I got by with a little help from my friends. And a whole lotta Jesus.

But I did it. I did it!  I met the most interesting people, I talked to more than I can count. I learned...so much.  I remembered all my planning, I recalled the best practices, I negotiated….and I placed my orders.  I met this hilariously eccentric boutique owner from the south that without hesitation offered up an "everything you need to know to be a successful boutique owner" in a 5 minute walk from the elevator to the registration desk. (Nothing in Vegas is close to anything).  I met high end retailers and a super chill chic with pink braided pony tails. I received what felt like a thousand encouraging comments and "best wishes" sincere sentiments.  I got bear hugged by a 7 foot dude that sold purses.  I got “Pretty Womaned” by a couple of young "chic" manufacturers who let me know pretty quickly I did not belong in their stores....but even that seemed to motivate me more than intimidate me.   Plus I secretly long for the day when I can stroll back in, channel my best Julia Roberts with a “You work on commission right?  Big Mistake…Huge” moment.  Like how fun would that be right?  Anyway, the point is, I did it.  I stayed in my budget, I covered all my categories, and I established what I hope will be ongoing relationships with some very cool people.  And…I also had an absolute blast.  Exhausting, yes, but unbelievably fun.  Best of all, I left knowing that I accomplished what I went there to do.

I wanted to find suppliers and products that I believed would delight my ladies back home. And I did it.  That feeling of accomplishment was worth every tear.

What did I learn from this experience that I’d like to share with y’all?
1. Trying new things is scary
2. You should try new things.  Face the scare.  The feelings and experiences waiting for you on the other side of the scare are exciting, edifying and empowering.
3. We need each other.  We were never designed to “do life” alone.  We need the people in our lives, and they need us.  Life is so much sweeter and more effective when it’s done together.
4. We should cherish the people in our lives.  Stop occasionally to take inventory of whether we are taking more than we give to them and be intentional about correcting that.  The balance matters.
5. We are capable of more than we think we are.  Too often do we assign limitations based on our perceived capabilities or circumstances. This holds us back from the living out the awesome fulfillment of our design.  We are warriors!  We are women!  In all these things, YES, WE CAN.
6. Vegas is expensive AF.
7. It’s ok to fall down.  Not like the “I drank one too many $18 vegas drink” falls, but the failures in life that we don’t expect or plan for.  We should plan for more falls.  The best part of the fall is in the getting back up, finding your legs and ending up running when you were barely walking before.
8. We always want more than we can afford.  Budgets are important.  Sticking to budgets is even more important.  The balance matters.
9. There’s no place like home.  When planning time away, be careful not to miss the important things happening back home…spouse, kids, friends.  The balance matters.
10. Your story matters.  I’ve had so many women tell me this journey, even unrealized at the moment is inspiring them.  Write your story!  Fill it up!  Want to dance? Dance! Want to sing? Sing! Paint, write, volunteer, build something, create something, start something.  Do YOU.  Don’t miss even one opportunity to write another chapter, or even just one more sentence.  Fill your story with as much as you can: excitement, love, failure, pain…do it all!  And share it with people around you.  You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it….Your story matters.

In the end I’m learning that I CAN do this.  I can work full time and open this Boutique.  I can do it!  I can show my kids that they CAN and SHOULD follow their dreams and pursue their passions in whatever form that needs to take.  There will never be a perfect time or enough money and there will always be more reasons why “not”.  But with a good balance of wisdom and courage, humility and discipline…you can and should move right through those obstacles and give yourself the opportunity to experience whatever is waiting for you on the other side.

And if you need a friend, an encourager or a cheerleader, hit me up…I’ll be there for ya

Thank you for coming with me on my Boutique journey...it is bringing me immense joy.  Ladies, it's almost here...lets get our bliss on!!!

Blissfully yours,

-Darcy

She told me to build my dream

It’s important before going any further about this dream that she told me to build...that I point out who “she” is.  She is a particularly profound “she” in my life.  An unexpected and unplanned “she”.  Some may say the kind of “she” that most women dread.  Yes, this “she” is my ex-husband, my babies daddy wife.  My children’s step-mom.

12 years ago when the painful decision of divorce was made, I had no idea the roller coaster that lie ahead.  I was a young emotional mother of 2 very little ones.  I was certain of very little, other than my staunch dedication to my babies. I was prepared to do ANYTHING to give those two kids the very best life possible.  I would love them with everything I was.  I would work tirelessly to see that they had all they needed to grow into strong, loving, capable people.  I would equip them with whatever they needed to have the opportunity to be the best versions of themselves that they could be.  I was a bubbly fun young lady, bu when it came to being a mother, I was a fierce mama bear ready to take on the world to raise them well and protect them from danger.

The good news was, I was naïve enough to think I knew it all.  The bad news was, I was naïve enough to think I knew it all.  The truth was, I had no idea what was in store for me and life as it so often does, proceeded to have its way with me.  Looking back now, I’m grateful for the ways God allowed my pride and my white knuckled grip over my independence and autonomy to be broken….but my gosh, you couldn’t pay me to go back and live those lessons all over.

I didn’t know then that I would feel so overwhelmed by every little and big decision required in the day to day of raising children.  I didn’t know the pain I would feel when my kids weren’t with me and were celebrating events or traveling, even to other countries without me, their mother, right there with them.  I didn’t know how scary junior high orientation and first days of high school would be.  I didn’t know how ashamed and insecure I would feel that my kids were part of the dreaded divorce statistic when I socialized with other school mothers who seemed to have it all together and who did it all “right”.   I didn’t know then the countless sleepless nights and floods of tears that would flow when my daughter rebelled hard against anything good in life.   I didn’t know then that I would make mistakes myself and experience the torture and heartbreak of wondering how badly my mistakes would mess up my children.  I didn't know the thrill that awaited of watching my daughter overcome her hardships and stand on stage and perform to the applause of hundreds of people or how proud I would be at her high school graduation. I didn’t know that my kids, no matter how much I spoke into their lives, how passionately I loved them were still their own people and had their own wills and would grow up to make their own choices….even bad ones.  I didn’t know how terrified and helpless I would feel in the emergency room afraid for my sons life.

I didn't know it was her hand I would reach for in all of those moments or that it would be her hand to feel so powerfully soothing.

I didn’t know that "she" was a one of God's most powerful provisions in my life.

She, the woman society will tell you is the “enemy”…a threat that should be neither trusted or embraced.  But why?  Why must this person automatically be categorized negatively?  Why must we label and create images of our ex or their partners in a negative way?  My immediate thought (excluding experiences of abuse or other extenuating painful circumstances)  is that we must make them bad for us to be good.  It’s the unfortunate framework many of us choose…we cast judgement on them to feel better about ourselves.  I mean I don’t but I know ya’ll do, right?

Wait, yes I do.  And so do you.  And we should stop that shit.  There is a lot of good that God desires to work through our fallen, broken situations.

When I sat watching my baby girl take her final senior bow at her final high school theater performance and emotion took over, I grabbed her hand.  We held hands as tears streamed down our both our faces as pride and happiness and sadness and joy….as it all consumed our hearts staring at this beautiful bright brilliant soul staring back at us. The girl who came back to us…who came back to life, and who now faces a bright future chuck full of opportunity.  All.The.Feels.

I reached for her hand because she’s been there nearly the whole time.  Because she too knows and feels a mothers love for my children and she too knows and feels a mothers worry over them.  She has watched them grow.  She has been at the choir concerts, soccer games, football games, theatre performances.  She’s helped get ready for homecomings and proms.  She’s been there.  She’s cared. She worries, plans and does…She loves.  She’s felt insecure and overwhelmed. She knows.  She knows what I know.  She feels what I feel.  She wants what I want…for them.

I grabbed her hand.  And she grabbed mine.

Fast forward to the moment I decided to take this leap of faith into starting a small business.  I cannot even tell you how consistently and powerfully this woman has encouraged me. She sends me random texts of support.  She’s shared resources, ideas, feedback.  As if being a trusted dependable and valued co-parent wasn’t enough, she has become a confidant, cheerleader and adviser.

This plaque she gave me sits on my mantle, reminding me daily of a powerful truth.

I didn’t plan for her, I didn’t expect her, and there was a time I feared her.  Now, I’m just blissfully grateful she is here.  I love this "she".  She is my forever friend, my forever family.  "She" is one of the many reasons I am taking this scary step of faith with this business.

Thank you, Renee.  I'm so grateful you are my "she".  

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”