There's no crying in retail...NOT!

Here I was, my big moment.  My first retail show!  I had an important mission: to buy up a majority of my initial inventory for my soon to open Boutique.  This dream of mine that I had waited so long to chase after.  This was a critically important step that I had been carefully planning for months.  I was stoked.  I was prepared; I had my buying pass, budget, concept book, business plan, business cards, order stickers.  I downloaded the trade show apps and even scheduled buying tours, meetings and seminars.  I was READY.

Or so I thought.

I walked in, took one look around at the ginormity of the show floor and promptly forgot everything.  Cue the tears.  I could recall exactly NOTHING of what I had planned so carefully for.  I couldn't remember what I was supposed to say, how I was supposed to interact with vendors...the “etiquette” rules and best practices.  They went right out of my head and all I could feel was panic.  What in the heck was I doing here?  I don’t belong!  They’ll see right through me, I’m too new.  And also, where in the world do I even start?  There are literally hundreds of mini clothing stores covering aisles and aisles and aisles of this huge expo center…and this was just the first of several shows, and the first of 3, count them, THREE expo centers.

The freight train started coming in my ears…if you’ve ever had a panic attack you know exactly what I’m talking about.  That sound….the racing heart, the shortness of breath, the emotional waterfall behind your eyes….all of that was coming and I hadn’t even made it passed the check in.  So I called the hubster….he answers with his normal jolly tone "Honey!  How's it going?!?!"  Me, as though I'm secret service looking down and covering my mouth so nobody can see responds with "Right, well I need you to talk me down, I’m on the verge of an epic meltdown which I can't help but think is not a great look as a first impression in front of all these people and their fine products.  It's ridiculous to be emotional at a freaking buying show-yet-mommy.is.losing.it."  So, hubs ever the dependable one, worked his soothing magic from 2000 miles away.  He spoke truths and affirmations to me as I walked the aisles with my head down until the freight train left.  I’m so thankful for that big Guamanian man of mine.   Sometimes we just need our peeps to speak truth to us and bring us back to center when our feelings are taking us to crazy town.

I wish I could say that was the only time that happened, but it wasn’t.  It happened again the first day of the next show I attended, a market even bigger than the first.   Thankfully in that moment my girl Karly was there in person to feed me wine and make me laugh with funny stories of her life.  She really does have the best stories.   And you know what?  I got through it!  And it was amazing.  I got through it NOT on my own of course.  As the late great John Lennon and his pal Paul McCartney so eloquently wrote 50 years ago…I got by with a little help from my friends. And a whole lotta Jesus.

But I did it. I did it!  I met the most interesting people, I talked to more than I can count. I learned...so much.  I remembered all my planning, I recalled the best practices, I negotiated….and I placed my orders.  I met this hilariously eccentric boutique owner from the south that without hesitation offered up an "everything you need to know to be a successful boutique owner" in a 5 minute walk from the elevator to the registration desk. (Nothing in Vegas is close to anything).  I met high end retailers and a super chill chic with pink braided pony tails. I received what felt like a thousand encouraging comments and "best wishes" sincere sentiments.  I got bear hugged by a 7 foot dude that sold purses.  I got “Pretty Womaned” by a couple of young "chic" manufacturers who let me know pretty quickly I did not belong in their stores....but even that seemed to motivate me more than intimidate me.   Plus I secretly long for the day when I can stroll back in, channel my best Julia Roberts with a “You work on commission right?  Big Mistake…Huge” moment.  Like how fun would that be right?  Anyway, the point is, I did it.  I stayed in my budget, I covered all my categories, and I established what I hope will be ongoing relationships with some very cool people.  And…I also had an absolute blast.  Exhausting, yes, but unbelievably fun.  Best of all, I left knowing that I accomplished what I went there to do.

I wanted to find suppliers and products that I believed would delight my ladies back home. And I did it.  That feeling of accomplishment was worth every tear.

What did I learn from this experience that I’d like to share with y’all?
1. Trying new things is scary
2. You should try new things.  Face the scare.  The feelings and experiences waiting for you on the other side of the scare are exciting, edifying and empowering.
3. We need each other.  We were never designed to “do life” alone.  We need the people in our lives, and they need us.  Life is so much sweeter and more effective when it’s done together.
4. We should cherish the people in our lives.  Stop occasionally to take inventory of whether we are taking more than we give to them and be intentional about correcting that.  The balance matters.
5. We are capable of more than we think we are.  Too often do we assign limitations based on our perceived capabilities or circumstances. This holds us back from the living out the awesome fulfillment of our design.  We are warriors!  We are women!  In all these things, YES, WE CAN.
6. Vegas is expensive AF.
7. It’s ok to fall down.  Not like the “I drank one too many $18 vegas drink” falls, but the failures in life that we don’t expect or plan for.  We should plan for more falls.  The best part of the fall is in the getting back up, finding your legs and ending up running when you were barely walking before.
8. We always want more than we can afford.  Budgets are important.  Sticking to budgets is even more important.  The balance matters.
9. There’s no place like home.  When planning time away, be careful not to miss the important things happening back home…spouse, kids, friends.  The balance matters.
10. Your story matters.  I’ve had so many women tell me this journey, even unrealized at the moment is inspiring them.  Write your story!  Fill it up!  Want to dance? Dance! Want to sing? Sing! Paint, write, volunteer, build something, create something, start something.  Do YOU.  Don’t miss even one opportunity to write another chapter, or even just one more sentence.  Fill your story with as much as you can: excitement, love, failure, pain…do it all!  And share it with people around you.  You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it….Your story matters.

In the end I’m learning that I CAN do this.  I can work full time and open this Boutique.  I can do it!  I can show my kids that they CAN and SHOULD follow their dreams and pursue their passions in whatever form that needs to take.  There will never be a perfect time or enough money and there will always be more reasons why “not”.  But with a good balance of wisdom and courage, humility and discipline…you can and should move right through those obstacles and give yourself the opportunity to experience whatever is waiting for you on the other side.

And if you need a friend, an encourager or a cheerleader, hit me up…I’ll be there for ya

Thank you for coming with me on my Boutique journey...it is bringing me immense joy.  Ladies, it's almost here...lets get our bliss on!!!

Blissfully yours,

-Darcy